National Joke Day: August 16, 2018

National Joke Day Graphic



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Love at the Gates

A lady approached the Pearly Gates and was met by St. Peter.  She hesitated, not knowing if she was going to be admitted.  St. Peter told her to come forward and if she could spell a word, any word, he would let her through. 

 

She thought for a moment and spelled L O V E.  St Peter welcomed her through the Gates and then asked her if she would watch the Gates for him while he attended to another issue.  She immediately accepted and was not pleasantly surprised when her ex-husband approached the Pearly Gates. 

 

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

 

He replied, “I’m a little surprised too. What do I need to do to get through the Pearly Gates?”

 

The woman thought for a moment and said, “You have to spell a word.”

 

“What word?” He replied.

 

“Czechoslovakia.”

 

Linda Montoya 

Human Resources Manager
 

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Q & A

Q. What do you call a fly with no wings?
A.  A walk!
   

 

Frank Hocker

Customer Service Representative

 

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A Classic Joke

Knock knock

Who’s there?

Doctor.

Doctor Who?

YEP!

 

Echo Garfinkle

Customer Service Representative

 

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Ranch Humor

A DEA agent stopped at a farm one day " I need to inspect your farm for illegally growing drugs."

The farmer replies, pointing with his fingers " Okay, but don’t go in the field over there."

The DEA agent explodes saying "Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me!"

 

“Well,” the farmer says, “I don’t really think the authority of the Federal Government matters.  Don’t go in the field over there.”

Reaching into his pocket, the arrogant agent removed his badge and shoved it in the farmer’s face. " See this badge? This badge means that I am allowed to go anywhere I wish on any land! No questions asked, or answers given! Have I made myself clear? Do you understand?"

The guy nods politely, apologizes and goes about his chores. A short while later, he hears loud screams. He looks up and sees the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the guy's big old mean bull. With every step, the bull was gaining ground on the agent and it seemed likely that he would surely be gored before he reached safety. The agent was clearly terrified.

The guy throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his voice:

"Your badge, show him your BADGE!!!!"

 

Cal Davis

Safety Specialist


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The Lawyer Joke

A guy goes into a lawyer’s office and asks the lawyer: “Excuse me, how much do you charge?”

The lawyer responds: “I charge $1,000 to answer three questions.”

“Wow!  – That’s a bit expensive isn’t it?”

“Yes. What’s your third question?”

Donna L Osterholt

Customer Care Representative


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Another Classic!

Person 1: Knock-knock.
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Sadie.
Person 2: Sadie who?
Person 1: Sadie magic word and I'll disappear!

 

Biz Tanner

Executive Administration Assistant to

John G.Woody

 

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LOL

Why do cows have hooves and not feet?

Because they lactose!

 

Tina Dellinger

Regional Manager

 

 

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From the Mouth of a Babe...

One of my favorite jokes is a knock-knock joke told by my 5-year-old daughter.
Knock, Knock. Who’s there? Who. Who Who. You sound like an owl!

 

 Sean Whetton

 

Union Wireless

Customer Care